My Relationship with Food

So, why do I eat? I eat for a number of reasons, none of which are unique to me. I eat socially, preferring the company of friends to eating by myself. I eat when I am bored, a terrible habit that I try time and again to get rid of by saying to myself, "Will I be any happier in ten minutes because I ate this handful of almonds? What about this Pirouette cookie?" It is extremely successful when I do remember to ask myself those things but the asking doesn't always happen.

Most importantly, I eat because it gives me pleasure. Don't go taking that the nasty sexual way that some of y'all do. It is pleasing from my ears to my toes to bite into something delicious, especially if I made it myself, or better yet, with friends. Everyone says that it's better to make it yourself, and you know why they all say that? 'Cause it's true. It's the same with all those terrible clichés. There's a reason that they have stood the test of time. When you see and smell and hear and taste and touch everything that goes into your meal, you gain confidence, knowledge, expectation, and anticipation. I swear that your logic and common sense will improve, too. "Hmm... is it a good idea to ever make a sugar-free/low-carb version of a baked good?" The answer is no.

Pizza was made from scratch the other day with real semolina flour and EVOO and artichoke hearts and olives and pepperoni and straight up tomato sauce. No white flour. No sugar. No bullshit. It was laborious and glorious.

I finally got a summer job, so once that first paycheck comes in, I can eat something other than cold cereal and oatmeal for 18 meals a week!